Trying not to put my hand back in the pot!

OK, so I had the weekend off and it kinda rocked! I got Isabella and Jeremiah on Friday and from then on we had so much fun, minus the whining of course! News on Isaiah was getting better and better, so things were going purty darn well. Then, this afternoon I took Isabella and Jeremiah to a birthday party at one of those inflatable places and everything was going gravy until Isabella found one of the biggest obstacle course inflatables! So, I went through it with her to make sure she didn't get stuck, which of course she did when it came to the huge "rock climbing" part before slide. So, I helped her up and we slid down and out just fine.

After a while of hangin with Jeremiah, I went to look for her and found her in that same obstacle course!!! WHY DO THEY ALWAYS GO FOR THE HARDEST ONES?!?!?! So, I figured she would most likely get stuck again, so I went in and couldn't find her. And of course they make it that you can't really go backward without it being a huge pain in the rumpous. So, I went climbing up the "rock wall" thing and got to the very top and all of a sudden I lost my grip, which sent me sliding all of the way down. Now, I'm thinkin, "OK, surely this thing isn't that far of a drop!" But, I kid you not!!!! I slid for about twenty minutes!!!!! I felt my nail break, which TOTALLY upset me, since I had just prettyfied them the night before! Then, after my forever long free fall, I landed in a dip and on an inflatable you're not landing on solid ground, so yeah, my ankle twisted and OMGOSH!!!! It hurts so bad!!! I thought I was going to pass out when it happened! All I could think was "how tha HECK was I gonna get outta this thing NOW?!?!?!"

Well, I did and then had to get my husband to meet me at the house with a brace for it and I will tell you, I have never used my cruise control so much! (Ummm, I guess I should explain that it was a right foot that got hurt.) So, I had to leave the house and get to the hospital and it was so funny (now, at least, cuz it sure wasn't at the time!), b/c it felt like it took me an HOUR to walk from my truck to Isaiah's room!!!!

So, here I am! Stuck in this room, since I can't walk anywhere! So, I figured I would start checking out scholarship info online. I started applying for a few and started to wonder if I was sure that I wanted to go into nursing and not physical therapy or something that seemed even more logical for Isaiah. I started getting so frustrated, b/c I really hate wasting time. Then, I realized that in all of this talk, I have yet to even talk to God about any of it! I mean, I say that he is my God and King and yet, I just move on my own!

It says in the bible that everything is a massive waste of time when He is not in the lead (obviously paraphrasing there!) and I think I just told you that I have wasting time. I mean, I had dated a guy for FIVE years. I thought we were going to get married, even though I knew he was NOT AT ALL the right guy for me! I was just scared to be alone again. So, I kept my hand in the pot, instead of trusting God with my love life. You see? He puts desires in our hearts. He created us! So, He knows EXACTLY what we want, but more importantly, He knows EXACTLY what we NEED! So, He puts these desires in our hearts to give Him an opportunity to flex His muscles for us. You know how you know someone that has a need or even a desire and you have the ability to fill that desire? You may be willing to give it to them on the DL (Down Low or behind the scenes for my not so ghetto crowd ;o), but sometimes, like with your children, you want them to just come to you and ask. That's how God is, sometimes He does His work on the DL, but there are times, like when you have decisions to make or answers you're searching for that He's just standing there sweetly and gentlemanly like waiting for you to just ask Him.

You see? He's not going to just invade your life. He's a gentleman that knocks, but will not enter unless you open the door and invite Him in. So, we have the option, we can sit there and keep our hand in the pot, telling God exactly what spices and ingredients need to go in to make your life better OR we can say, "OK, Lord. You made me and know the desires of my heart, You also know what is best for me. So, please, do what You need to do. Add what You need to add and remove what needs to be removed. I trust You."

I'll be honest, it's not an easy thing to do to release control and it may take quite a few times to really release that control, since Lord knows some of us are a little more hard headed than others (not me of course *flinching at the chance of a lightening strike*), but I can promise you, life is best when lived out of control! Cuz, my husband is better than anyone I could have come up with! :o)